Julius Caesar, the Rewrite
by Sihn
Summary: Okay, so this was actually an extra credit thing for English, but hey, why not right? So this is a oneshot thing that happens right after Caesar's death. I mean, IMMEDIATELY after. It's like 700 and sommat words, so not much there. But I hope you enjoy!


Caesar crumpled to the ground. Little did anyone know that his last words would comprise one of the most overused phrases in literary history. But then again, that hadn't exactly been pertinent to recent events.

The heavy breathing finally died and then there was silence. The men began to shift their weight from one foot to another, as if they were small children waiting to be punished for doing something naughty. However, instead of a mildly irritated over-worked housewife, the conspirators were about to have to answer to all of Rome. Things were getting bleaker by the moment.

Brutus said something to the effect of "What of us now?" but the men remained silent until the Senate doors burst inwards. All heads turned towards a small beet-faced man as he wobbled his way angrily down the hall.

"ERIS!" The squat Roman had reached where Caesar's body lay dead, but miraculously over-looked it, instead searching through the small crop of men. He screamed again "ERIS!"

"Excuse me," Brutus stepped forward but kept a little room in between so as not to be forced to look down on the intruder. "There is no man what answers to the name of Eris."

The pygmy took a moment to give Brutus the time of day. "Keep out of what you do not know mortal."

Brutus was taken aback by the man's response. Mortal he was, but was this man not as well?

The man screamed Eris a third time before another man stepped forward; Decius Brutus.

"My good fellow, I know not for whom you ask, but I can assure you that no sort of dissension will be tolerated in this Senate." A few men nodded or murmured their agreement.

The irate man turned to Decius and became, if possible, even more irritated than before. Decius wore a smile. "Eris." As the man said it he began to grow, shedding his small stature and rising above the heads of the rest of the men.

"Jupiter."

The conspirators gasped, as the angry and otherwise humble man morphed into the great Roman God Jupiter, king of the Gods. "Eris you meddling fool! You know you are not to get involved in the affairs of humans."

To the surprise of many Decius responded. "I am no longer welcome to stay with the Gods, so why should I live by their laws?" Suddenly, in the same fashion as Jupiter had done, Decius Brutus became a young pale woman in dark tattered robes with hair that flowed in all directions. Few gasps were heard, and then one more of the mutineers stepped forwards.

"Eris," Casca said in mild awe. "You, you're the Goddess of discord." And then, as if finally putting II and II together, he pointed. "You must have been the cause of all of this!" Casca gestured wildly at the dead body on the floor.

The woman laughed a horrible laugh. "Oh but it was so easy. All you fools needed was the idea. Your lack of intelligence took care of the rest." Eris began circling the men while Jupiter watched on in increasing rage. "You humans are such fickle creatures, your minds are easy to bend. All you had to hear was the whisper that Caesar was ambitious and then you were ready to see him dead for his so called 'future crimes against Rome'. All I had to do was sit back and watch the chaos ensue."

There was a mix of reactions among the men. Some were still in awe and shock, while others were in the beginnings of anger for being played like the puppets they had allowed themselves to be.

Eris however had jaunted back over to where Jupiter looked as id Athen were hacking her way out of his skull yet again. "Eris, you must know that you will be punished for—"

"Of but see my 'King', you are wrong. Because Marc Antony is rushing up the stair as we speak, and will be here in moments to have the men executed. And in the meanwhile, I have done what I came here to so, and so, valete viri et deus." Eris disappeared in a whisp and Jupiter let out a roar before vanishing as well.

The men, still slightly confused, but more so angry by this time, all exploded in conversation. Brutus tried and failed to grab attention before Marc Antony marched through the open Senate doors, followed by a one Octavian and his army.

Jupiter finally caught up with Eris only to lose her again. But not before seeing her drop a golden apple for "the fairest of all". But that, is for another time.


End file.
